Marriage life – 002 – Naming the Kids

When I got married, I already had a many plans for what was to come.
Being here now, it had opened a whole new network of paths of which I would take.

Through the many years singlehood, planning, rehearsals with all the imaginary girlfriends I once had, that grew into imaginary wives that led to different imaginary lives….

One of the scenarios was to start a family with 2 kids.

So one fine day, I brought this idea up to the wife:

Me: Dear, if we have kids, what would we call them?

Wife: (Looks at me with that weird look….)

Me: Lets try something interesting…. Maybe something scientific….
Maybe….. Cosine – Fang Cah Soh……

(After Moment of Silence…..a strange look)

Wife: No…. we should go with something biological – Diarrhoea Fang

Me:  That’s a great Idea, while we are at that…. We can call….

*Wife walks in on me writing.... and hijacks the keyboard*
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The original story:

The husband and I did not want children.

He: They are a bother and expensive to maintain in the current Singapore economy.  Do you know the cost of childcare and education? Who is going to take care of the child? 

I: Then why don’t we have a dog?

He: …. (frowning) … and what shall we call it? *interrupts to sniff the air* Wait… did you not bathe today? I smell shit…. Maybe we should call him “Fang Pi” (meaning Fart/breaking wind in Chinese)

I: (patting my womb) Since you like science, how about… Diarrhoea Fang? It has a nice ring to it.

He: (…rolls eyes…) I was thinking of something more scientific. If we had a child, perhaps we should name him Trigo Fang.

I: I got it! Diarrhoea Fang Cah Soh…

He: (utter silence) ………..

*Husband takes keyboard back from The Wife * 

Conclusion: Our kids will be called Diarrhoea Fang Pi and Trigo Fang Cah Soh... and we also decided Fang Lau Sai.....

We make bad parents.....